How To Keep Yourself HIV Safe While Using Sex Toys

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How To Keep Yourself HIV Safe While Using Sex Toys

Think about it. When you’re building a foundation for a relationship, it usually involves interacting on different levels, like going to a show instead of the bar or having breakfast rather than dinner or hiking instead of watching a movie. You wish to enjoy this person in other ways and see how he or she handles different situations. You wish to meet his and introduce him to yours. So if those dates are not evolving than neither is that relationship. Last-Minute Man Do most of your dates happen at the last minute? Does he text you at 8pm and ask if you wish to meet up for drinks later? Or maybe he just invites you to meet him at the bar he’s already been hanging out at for the past two hours. Even if he’s not trying to take you home at the end of the night, he’s still treating your discussion like an after-thought. When a guy is investing his heart in you, he will also be investing his time and attention by planning ahead and putting some thought into you being with him. a last-minute date is not lasting long. Sex Sex Sex If he’s having more sex with you than dates with you, then he’s probably getting just what he wants. The rules on when to hop in the sack are really up for debate.

But if that’s all he ever desires to do with you now, then that’s probably all he plans to do with you later on. The Writing on the Wall Some guys, maybe even most of them under the right circumstances, will be up front about their intentions. So if he tells you he’s not buying a relationship, then he’s not and you shouldn’t expect to change his mind, no matter how awesome you are. If you aren’t sure, just ask. And then heed the warnings above. Therefore the next time you find yourself wondering what the hogwash is going on, take a moment to reflect and stay honest with yourself about what you see. We can sometimes add meaning or back-story to situations and events almost without realizing it. It might hurt to admit the truth about your current crush, but not as much as looking back and adding up the time you wasted vying for a relationship that was never going to happen. You deserve better than that. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook6Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: Dating, dating advice, For Women, relationship Alright, ladies! Can you do something for me?

I know this may be more challenging for some than others, but adopting this new belief is essential to get asked on dates. Can we all finally agree that it’s not hard to find love in New York City? That it is NOT hard to have a satisfying dating life and that it is NOT hard to connect to the other sex? Trust me, changing your mind about this can change your lifetime and since many of us are looking for love and connection below are my four tips to getting asked on a date – and most likely MANY dates. I have personally adopted and refined these concepts for what led to an exciting and fulfilling dating life of my own, so here goes! 1. Become the person you wish to be asked out by. a wonderful start to not only a fulfilling dating life but also a fulfilling life, in general, is to become the person you wish to ask you on a date, aka become attractive. Start a practice of frequently doing what exactly you need a future partner to do. In place of slobbing around in your singleness, go the comedy show that you would love to be invited to by your crush or take the cooking class you one day hope to do with a partner. If you hope to one day go on runs by the Hudson River with your future boyfriend, get yourself outside and on those runs now. Becoming a version of the person you wish to date makes you more interesting and attractive while placing you in the position to satisfy the sorts of people you want to be asked out by. Stop waiting to live your lifetime until “the one” finds you! 2. Have open energy and drop ALL of your storylines. Conscientiously and subconsciously we all take on storylines for ourselves and whatever or whoever may surround us. a crucial part of getting asked on a date is being willing to open WAY up and shed storylines about dating that do not serve us. A few stories I see ruin dating lives of women again and again are ones about having a “type”, circumstances for meeting a future lover, and just an underlying belief that “all the good ones are taken” or that you won’t meet anybody.

Firstly, type, drop it! Anticipating who you want to be with exactly will scare away every one of the opportunities and people you might enjoy yet not yet know it.

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Preferences are fine but be open to getting asked out by all different types of people. All things considered, how can you know what you want without trying it out first? Next, circumstances for meeting a future lover – anything goes! Don’t let old lines about where or the method that you are likely to meet someone taint your dating life. I met my boyfriend whom I really like quite definitely at a fratty bar, one month after a breakup. Had I been closed off to meeting someone due to my circumstance I would have missed out on what is now one of the most important relationships of my life. Finally, underlying disbelief there is someone nowadays for you. Perhaps you won’t meet the man you wish to marry tomorrow, but life is approximately connection and you could undoubtedly meet a man you could learn from or have positive experiences with now.

If you are open to love, you will have love. This disbelief may be operating subconsciously and very subtly so take action and use verbal and written affirmations that you’re ready for romance often to end your negative thought patterns. “I am ready for love! I am ready for love!” 3. Be in the practice of dating. I know you may not be up for going on a mediocre date, but if you’re not getting asked on dates frequently you need to go on some mediocre dates. Here’s the thing, stagnant energy is bad for your dating life, so if it is often six month, a year, two years, or more PLEASE go on a date with anyone! Maybe you need to go online to get the ball rolling, but being in the practice of dating is vital to finally getting a date where you really do connect or fall in love. And if finding love isn’t incentive enough, consider the other great things. This practice will give you confidence and force you to learn to say no and establish boundaries. Accepting one harmless coffee date with the man from the grocery store line doesn’t mean you have to accept another. On the other side, accepting one harmless date from the man in the grocery store line might mean making a new friend or lover. Be open to all sort of goodness.

4. Send an invitation. This tip is important, and with every one of the above operating this will make you a magnet for getting asked on dates. If you admire chivalry as much as I do, you REALLY do NOT want to accomplish the initiating, but ladies, we must make life a little bit easier for our potential love interests. Here’s what I suggest, send invitations to the men you wish to ask you out. These invitations typically come in the form of eye contact, smiles and body language. Whenever I found myself single I would force myself to smile making eye contact with any man I found attractive and plenty of times this led to him starting a conversation, asking for my number and dates! Why would a man want to ask a woman on a date who wasn’t happy, smiling, and open? Create a welcoming environment within yourself and you will begin to not only meet romantic interests but also to create new friends and business contacts. Another suggestion is to walk to the bathroom when arriving at coffee shops, bars, events or any place you might meet a potential date. Making your presence known in space and giving eye contact and a smile to those that catch your eye could be your ticket to dating and romance.

Good luck and have fun on your adventures in dating! It really is my hope that your love life is a satisfying and that these four tips will serve you well! Image courtesy of stock images at Author Bio photo by Melodie Jeng Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook15Tweet0Pin1 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: date, Dating, love, romance, single life I’m Jessica and I’m the social media “Love Gun” for FriendFlirt is an upcoming online dating app that uses your social networks rather than joining a separate online dating site. As I’ve been promoting FriendFlirt all over the place, I’ve been asked several questions about it. Mainly, why I think it’ll be better than an online dating site and why I think it’s so great. So let me tell you why I think FriendFlirt will be so awesome. I’ve been online dating for a few years, personally. Nonetheless, I’ve only lived in Boston since August 2011, so we’ll just discuss my experience since I’ve come to live in the Hub. I’ve tried several different web sites.

Some web sites I found to be quite skeezy. Whether it was a crappy web design or just the users themselves, some web sites just didn’t please me. Other web sites, I found to be alright, but nothing was coming out of it. I went on many MANY dates through online dating- a few second and third dates, too. I saw potential in some guys, but there were always flaws that I found with each guy that just didn’t work out (not necessarily online dating’s fault alone, but nonetheless- none of those guys have worked out). Then there were the guys I didn’t go out with. The guys with the RIDICULOUS profiles and OUTRAGEOUS messages were awful. Then there were the fake profiles. Like this one guy that had 20 different profiles, but it was all him.

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Another guy messaged me, arranged a date, and then deleted his profile! We never even went out!

Oh, and then there was clearly the guy that had like no profile at all and only 2 awkwardly posed photos so you couldn’t really see him. I went out on a whim and went out with him- pretty sure he’s married or has a girlfriend. Great. So yea, rolling the dice with online dating, while fun, is mostly nerve wracking. I also feel that online dating can promote an unhealthy technological based relationship. Example- one guy started a texting “relationship” with me which in the present was fun, but in the long run made me completely crazy. When he stopped texting me or slowed down on the messages, I started panicking and worrying about what was going wrong. Our entire little “relationship” was through texting and emails- we hung out a few times, but an excessive amount of was based on technology. And there’s no way to feel chemistry through technology. To date, my most successful “relationship” since I’ve moved to Boston is with this guy I’ve been casually seeing for the past few months. We actually met in person, through a mutual friend, at a party. Which leads me to why I think Friend Flirt will work better than regular online dating. Friend Flirt is going to first of all eliminate those ridiculous “about me” sections and horribly come up with profiles. Also, you won’t have to worry about what photos to post, because your facebook photos will already be there! And don’t be worried about those fake profiles and scammers- only real people will be on Friend Flirt! And even better- those real people are friends and family’ friends!

No need to be worried about Catfish, here!  No need to be worried about if that guy is single or if this chick has kids that they’re hiding from you. It’ll all be right there. It’ll be better to create dates because you’ll know more about this person quicker than in regular online dating- just talk to your friends about your new match! Who knows you better than your friends? No one. So who better than friends and family to hook you up? Exactly! So what are you waiting for? Friend Flirt will be starting soon, so hurry up and sign up to be a Beta tester! Also, if you subscribe before Valentine’s Day, you’ll receive a free lifetime premium membership! Make sure to pass it along to your friends as well!! xoxo Jess   Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook8Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Advert, Online Dating Tagged in: Dating, flirting, friendflirt, love, Online Dating, Relationships, romance I don’t know what’s gotten into me this past month…Clearly I should stop dating. Plainly.

But I won’t. So what the hell? I don’t know; I’m in a weird place. During the last couple of dates I’ve been on I’ve not been as reserved or as polite as I generally tend to be. How so? Rather than telling you directly, I’ll just tell you about this date. Okay? Cool! It started innocently enough. “Good Morning, Alex! How are you?” from a Tinder message from a local gal. Her main profile pic revealed a washed out flash-taken photo. I swiped through and saw a pretty woman.

One line in her profile, so nothing revealing. I message back “Hello, trouble! How are you?” We go back and forth a bit. She reveals that I rock the “nerdy-look” perfectly. That was my second indication that she was into whatever it was that I was doing. “Damn right,” I thought to myself. Why don’t you? I’m not horrible looking (yet) and, if nothing else, I’m the perfect number of surface small-talk and shitty jokes to stretch a few hours. We spoke on the phone, she sounded cute and she was quick.

She didn’t come across that way via text or on Tinder. We exchanged candid photos. (Her request. Not mine.) And thus it begins… The next few hours saw messages from her confirming (three times) that individuals were still on for our date. What the fuck lady? Do you get stood up much? That was annoying, but not so much to put a damper on expectations of having a good time. I’m waiting in front of our date-spot. That’s when she came up to me. “Alex?” she asked unsurely. “Nope!” I replied. She paused moment and started laughing.

I got up, we hugged it out and grabbed a table inside. I’d made a point of flirting with the hostess and wait staff, having gotten there a bit early. Not a big deal, but always nice to have girls smile and joke with you upon entering any establishment. “You get around, don’t you?” My date asked, playfully. I just looked and smiled. The hostess led us to an outdoor patio complete with a fire pit to keep warm on an otherwise chilly evening. We ordered up some wine and proceeded to “get to know one another.” We were having surface level conversation, making each other laugh here and there. But I noticed my date glanced at me twice using this look. It was, in word, seductive. At least I thought so. She had raised her eyebrow and bit her lower lip. I mean, she wasn’t super obvious in giving this look but I’d caught it each time. That’s when I leaned in and said to my date, “Look, if you would like kiss me, it’s okay. It is possible to just say it because I would like to kiss you as well.” She paused a moment, her eyes widened and she shot back, “You certainly are a cocky S.O.B., you know that?” I replied, “Look, we’re adults here. We find each other attractive.” My date commanded, “So just kiss me, already.” I said, “Don’t tell me how to handle it!” And as I was needs to say something else, she leaned in and kissed ME, that is when our waitress comes back to the table with our drinks. My date had instantly become modest again, wiping her lips, I don’t think I was sloppy with the kiss, but I think she wanted to take that moment back. a little pain with your pleasure, Miss?

As we continued talking, the flirting continued and the details of our personal lives flowed. My date had two kids, which she didn’t mention in her Tinder profile. So that’s a definite red flag right there. For me, which means there’s no future here. Two kids already on the field is not what I want. Thinking back, that detail just cemented that i might continue with my attitude the rest of the night. Also, something to note: the father of her young ones had died. I didn’t press on with the hows and whys.

It wasn’t my business; I could see that he had meant lot to her obviously. We sooner or later got up, wandered around town a bit, sharing stories about racy sexual exploits. That’s when my date confided that she liked to be in control…at all times. I said, “Hmm, you’re not likely to have a lot of fun with me, because I always take close control.” My date said, “I’d like to see that…” That’s when I pressed her against the wall of a building and whispered in her ear “Look, you wouldn’t have a choice. I take what I want… When. I. Want. If I want your system, I’ll get it. Which I do and which I will.” My date’s breath begun to quicken.

For a moment I thought I’d scared her…but the opposite was true. She said, “We should go back once again to my car.” I said, “Don’t tell me what to do!” I firmly grabbed her hand and pulled her along after me. Some minutes later my date recommends ice cream. The closest thing is a Yogurtland…and we’re off. My date and I enter the joint, get our cups and sample some flavors. I walk up behind my date, run my hand up her back, gently caressing her neck. I grab a fist filled with her hair and clench my fist. My date stops dead in her tracks from what she was doing. I whisper in her ear, “Hello. What are we doing?” She whispers back, “Stop it! You’re being bad!” I fire back, “Don’t tell me how to handle it!” and clench my fist even tighter.

My date shudders; she’s into this, yet trying to be as discreet as you can. All things considered, this is a family establishment! So, we sit down, outside, with our ‘Froyo’ and begin enjoying our alternatives. My date is having a hard time reading me. I’m having a hard time reading me. This is undoubtedly a bizarre night for us both. But I’m not done enjoying my date. I command her to grab my wrist.

I whisper in her ear, even as she whispers her objections, as we’re surrounded by other families and people outside of Yogurtland. I tell her, “I’m going to whisper some very nasty things in your ear… If you like them, I want you to squeeze my wrist. Tough.” So begin telling her the things I want to do to her body and she’s grabbing the shit out of my wrist. She drew blood, even! She pleaded with me, then, never to stop this time, but to…choke her. “Please, please choke me.” Even this request had taken me off guard. Yet, I did it anyway. Allow me to be clear, I gave this lady a good choking! But, she surprised me when she said, “Don’t be a fucking pussy–REALLY CHOKE ME!!” Now, I need to tell you, there’s about two or three nearby tables of people also having Yogurt. I had to be conspicuous about the fact I was choking this woman out, at her request, of course. So I’m leaning in, as though I’m kissing her, with one arm around her, and then choking her with my other hand. And I’m giving it my all. This woman took it such as a fucking champ. She wasn’t scared or even anxious. She was enjoying this…after just a minute, maybe less, of this, we stopped and promptly got up to go back to my date’s car. It was clear that there were two ways this date would end. A solid fucking or nothing.

And, I have to be honest: although it was my fault that things got this far, I wasn’t ready to “get in there” and do what Baby Jesus put me on the good Earth to do… Which is having great hair, shitty dates, and blogging about it all. Yeah, I wasn’t ready. I get my date to her car. She’s rubbing on “me” while asking “What not?” I tell her, that I had fun, but I was only going to be great for one thing one time and that was it. She stops her “petting” of me and frowns a bit. “Why’s that?” she asks. I tell her, that’s all i will give her and that she appears to want something beyond that, which I can’t give her. My date gets a bit agitated. So what was all this anyway? I looked at her and said, “Get in your car, that you do not get to ask questions.

We’re done here.” She shakes her head in equal parts confusion and disgust and hops in her car to leave. She rolls down the window and says, “I want you to call me later.” I keep walking and don’t look back, like an action hero walking away from an explosion… I then received a phone call from her later, and text messages the following few days; I didn’t respond at all to any of it.